Your Puppy Doesn’t Need to Say Hello: The Truth About Socialisation

The first few months of your puppy’s life are incredibly important. The habits, expectations and behaviours you establish now will have a huge influence on the adult dog they become.

One of the biggest misconceptions we see is that a puppy needs to meet everyone and play with every dog in order to be well socialised.

They don’t.

Our aim is to raise a dog who can confidently experience the world without feeling the need to interact with everything in it.

Socialisation Means Exposure, Not Interaction

Good socialisation means your puppy can see, hear and experience things without needing to react to them.

Dogs. People. Children. Joggers. Cyclists. Horses. Livestock. Traffic. Pushchairs. Wheelchairs. Busy cafés. Town centres. Trains. Shops. Building sites. Umbrellas. People wearing hats. Dogs barking behind fences.

Your puppy should learn:

“I can notice that, but I don’t need to do anything about it.”

Take your puppy to as many different places and environments as you reasonably can. Don't feel that they need to interact with everything while they're there.

Often, simply sitting somewhere and watching the world go by is more valuable than constantly walking or meeting people.

Avoid On-Lead Greetings With Other Dogs

We recommend that you do not allow your puppy to greet unfamiliar dogs while on the lead.

Your puppy does not need to say hello to other dogs they see.

Repeated on-lead greetings can teach puppies that seeing another dog means:

DOG = I get to go over there!

This can contribute to pulling, fixation, frustration, barking and over-excitement around dogs later.

Instead, we want:

DOG = I notice it, remain calm and carry on with my handler.

Passing another dog without interacting with it is successful socialisation.

Limit Greetings With People

The same principle applies to people.

It is lovely to have a friendly puppy, but we don't want your puppy believing that every person they see exists to fuss them.

You do not need to let every person who asks stroke your puppy.

Allow some appropriate greetings, but make neutrality the norm rather than interaction.

This is particularly important with very cute, confident puppies because people naturally want to approach them.

Keep the Reward With You

Where possible, you should be the source of your puppy's rewards.

We generally don't encourage strangers to feed your puppy treats.

We want your puppy to experience people while learning that the valuable stuff still comes from you.

Food, play, praise and access to things they enjoy can all be used to build engagement with you.

Teach Calm Independence

Your puppy doesn't need to be touching you all the time.

If you're sitting in a café, pub, park or at a friend's house, encourage your puppy to settle on the floor beside you.

Not on your lap.

Not constantly leaning against you.

Not being continuously stroked or entertained.

They should learn that they can simply exist alongside you without requiring constant physical contact or attention.

This is an incredibly useful life skill.

Use a Crate

We recommend puppies become comfortable sleeping in a crate overnight.

A crate provides clear boundaries, supports toilet training, encourages independence and teaches your puppy that periods of confinement and rest are completely normal.

Crates should also be used positively during the daytime so they don't only predict bedtime or you leaving the house.

Your puppy should be able to switch off and sleep without needing somebody beside them.

Teach Your Puppy to Be Alone

Don't wait until you need to leave your puppy before teaching them independence.

Build short, positive periods of separation into normal daily life.

Use their crate or another safe area and allow them to spend time away from you even when you're still at home.

Following you from room to room all day may seem sweet when they're tiny, but independence is a skill that needs to be practised.

Don't Overdo Dog Play

Puppies do not need endless free-for-all play with other dogs.

Appropriate play with carefully selected known dogs can be beneficial, but your puppy should also learn that another dog being present doesn't automatically mean playtime.

Being able to walk alongside another dog, train near another dog or settle near another dog without interacting is more valuable.

Advocate for Your Puppy

You are allowed to say no.

No, they don't need to say hello.

No, somebody doesn't need to pick them up.

No, a strange dog doesn't need to come over.

No, your puppy doesn't need to be passed around a group of people.

Your job isn't to make sure everybody else gets to enjoy your puppy. Your job is to help your puppy develop into a confident, calm and well-mannered adult dog.

Remember: What Gets Practised Gets Stronger

Puppies learn all day, not just during formal training sessions.

Pulling towards dogs.

Jumping at visitors.

Charging through doors.

Demanding attention.

Ignoring recall.

Following you everywhere.

These are all behaviours being practised and therefore strengthened.

Equally, every time your puppy calmly passes another dog, settles while you have a coffee, waits at a doorway, walks beside you or relaxes independently, they are practising behaviours we do want.

Our Goal

We aren't trying to raise a puppy who wants to interact with everything.

We want to raise a dog who is confident in the world, engaged with their handler and neutral towards the things around them.

Expose them to lots.

Make those experiences positive.

But remember:

They don't have to interact with something for it to count as socialisation.